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To Ghost Or Not To Ghost
Is ghosting someone really that big of a deal?
A C C E L E R A T E L I T E / S E P T E M B E R2 0 2 0
BY: OSHORIAME
There is nothing cool about ghosting unnecessarily. Key word: unnecessarily.
If you plan to ghost someone who cares about you then you honestly do not know how to handle relationships. The effects of ghosting are way too horrible to make it a pattern in your life or someone else’s. Sometimes, we have to end relationships and cut off communication with certain people for our own sanity. So in
a way, ghosting can be a form of self- care but it should never be the first resort.
For instance, let us say Silas and Naomi have been friends for about two years. Silas has told Naomi multiple times that he does not like how she repeatedly drops snide comments about
his job. Sometimes he overlooks them but other times he tells her how offended he gets when she does. Although she apologises, she continues making these comments. Eventually, he decides he cannot continue dealing with it and cuts her off.
In this case, Silas has picked himself over a friendship that was making him feel offended. If he had never told Naomi that he did not like what she was doing, then ghosting would have been quite immature. However, a simple message saying, “I cannot continue this friendship because you keep disrespecting me” might be enough before leaving. This way, Naomi knows why the relationship ended.
Healthy relationships are built on proper communication.
Discussing boundaries and
love languages can help you understand what works or what does not in your relationships. Essentially, not being able to articulate your thoughts or feelings should not be an excuse to ghost. We’re too grown to avoid necessary conversations. “I do not like you,” “You talk too much,” “You’re too clingy,” “You are demanding too much.”
Give her/him the reason you do not want to continue the relationship.
Before you ghost someone, think about the effect it will have on them. Ghosting leaves people with all sorts of feelings they struggle to deal with
or overcome. You are being selfish, not practicing self-care, when you ghost someone without discussing the issue beforehand.
It’s always better to communicate your feelings to people than to avoid necessary conversations. If you can’t handle these conversations, then you have a lot to learn about how to sustain healthy relationships.
PAGE 22 INSIDE ACCESS | SEPTEMBER 2020 4TH EDITION